When they came back, they were standing under the chandelier again. The electric light made no shadows, and yet, thought Hans Castorp, everything has shadows. Even a list.<\/p>\n
Morgenstern said goodbye to Hans, because he wanted to go with his family to the children\u2019s area \u2013 that is a modern institution that is at once touching and unsatisfying: you delegate childhood to programs so that you yourself can be a program again. Frau Morgenstern nodded to Hans, friendly, brief; the children waved, and the older one said, \u201cBye, Hans,\u201d as if she had decided to take him into her world, at least for a day.<\/p>\n
Dr. AuDHS stayed standing with Hans for a moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d, he asked.<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp shrugged his shoulders. \u201cI\u2026\u201d He searched for words, and the searching was already system two. \u201c\u2026today I\u2026 saw something.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d said Dr. AuDHS. \u201cYou saw that optimization does not end with diastole.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are good in muscle,\u201d said Dr. AuDHS. \u201cYou are good in plan. You are good in repetition. That is your strength.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp thought: That is also my curse. But he did not say it.<\/p>\n
Dr. AuDHS looked at him, long enough to show that he thought it anyway.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you want,\u201d he said, \u201cwrite it down.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe resolutions,\u201d said Dr. AuDHS. \u201cNot because you need them like Morgenstern \u2013 you have no lilies that force you immediately. But because writing, as you now know, is resistance. Whoever writes, stays.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp felt something grow warm inside him at this sentence, and he did not know whether it was pride or sadness. Perhaps both. Perhaps that is, he thought, Tonio: warm and sad at the same time.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd the leech?\u201d, asked Hans Castorp, because he still hadn\u2019t let it go.<\/p>\n
Dr. AuDHS smiled crookedly. \u201cThe leech,\u201d he said, \u201cis rarely an evil person. He is often just a person with a big hunger and a small system two. But you still don\u2019t have to feed him. Your task is not to satisfy every hunger. Your task is not to let your lilies starve.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp nodded again. And then, because he suddenly understood something, he asked quietly, \u201cAnd if you have no lilies?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. AuDHS looked at him, and in his gaze there was a crack, precisely that crack that Dr. Porsche had when he wavered between warm and professional. It was a crack of humanity.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen,\u201d he said, very calmly, \u201cyou have to find out what is lily in you. Otherwise at some point you yourself will become leech. Or you will become forest.\u201d<\/p>\n
Forest. Hans Castorp did not quite understand, but he felt that it was true: forest is beautiful, but cold. Forest is alone.<\/p>\n
Dr. AuDHS patted him, in a very un-doctorly way, on the shoulder and left.<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp remained standing, under the chandelier, in the lobby, in the middle of the building, and felt strangely light and strangely heavy at the same time.<\/p>\n