Hans Castorp raised his eyebrows.<\/p>\n
\u201cA story?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d said AuDHS. \u201cYou have to give your head something that is not highway. Not battle. Not optimization. A stretch that is slow. A stretch that does not arrive, but runs out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp was silent. Inside him, quietly, a Tonio feeling stirred: that stories are not just entertainment, but a kind of salvation. And that salvation is at the same time dangerous.<\/p>\n
\u201cI tell myself,\u201d said AuDHS, \u201cwhen I can\u2019t fall asleep, a story. Not out loud, of course \u2013 I don\u2019t want to educate the neighbors \u2013 but in my mind. And I tell it in such a way that in the end something happens that your head cannot do: it lets go.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich story?\u201d<\/p>\n
AuDHS paused for a moment, as if he had to decide whether he wanted to make a fool of himself. Then he said:<\/p>\n
\u201cA chameleon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp blinked.<\/p>\n
\u201cA chameleon,\u201d he repeated.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d said AuDHS. \u201cA chameleon in a terrarium. And a highway of thoughts. And a mountain lake. Two deck chairs.\u201d<\/p>\n
He said the words, and you could tell how they already had a calming order inside him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy\u2026\u201d Hans Castorp began.<\/p>\n
AuDHS raised his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot why,\u201d he said. \u201cHow. You don\u2019t have to understand it. You have to tell it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp was silent for a moment. He thought of Zieser: Keep it simple. He thought: Maybe sleep is like that too.<\/p>\n
AuDHS took a step closer, as if he wanted to give the conversation a more confidential tone, and said:<\/p>\n
\u201cI won\u2019t write it down for you. Those who write, stay \u2013 yes. But with sleep it\u2019s the other way round: those who write stay awake.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp had to laugh, quietly. Then he became serious.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo I tell myself\u2026 a chameleon?\u201d<\/p>\n
AuDHS nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cYou tell it. And when you notice that you want to turn off again \u2013 to Porsche, to Zieser, to \u2018normally high\u2019, to your\u2026\u201d He left the word open, polite as he was. \u201c\u2026past \u2013 then you return to the story. Again and again. That is meditation without incense sticks.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd in the end?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
AuDHS smiled. It was a strangely soft smile.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn the end,\u201d he said, \u201cDr. Peter AuDHS sits with the chameleon by the mountain lake in the deck chair and lets the thoughts drive along the highway far below.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
AuDHS shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d he said. \u201cYou\u2019re allowed to put yourself into stories. That is the only permitted form of narcissism.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that helps?\u201d<\/p>\n
AuDHS looked at him, and for a moment his gaze was completely free of irony.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt helps,\u201d he said. \u201cOr it doesn\u2019t help. That\u2019s the nice thing. You can\u2019t prove it. You can only try it \u2013 and precisely because you can\u2019t prove it, maybe for once it\u2019s finally not optimization.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp exhaled. He felt something relax inside him \u2013 not because he now had a solution, but because someone had allowed him not to win.<\/p>\n
AuDHS stepped back, and his tone again became that of the attendant who puts things in order:<\/p>\n
\u201cGo to your room early this evening. Measure your blood pressure if you have to. But then leave the devices alone. The mat will come later. And the story\u2026\u201d He smiled again. \u201c\u2026that is already coming now. You carry it in your head.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
AuDHS raised his hand as if to ward off thanks.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t thank me,\u201d he said. \u201cThank the chameleon.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then he left the way he had come: not away, but only into another zone.<\/p>\n
Hans Castorp remained standing and thought: I will go to bed with a chameleon tonight.<\/p>\n
That was, if one is honest, unedifying.<\/p>\n
And at the same time comforting.<\/p>\n