Many people with ADHD know the problem of speaking faster than they actually want to. This text focuses exclusively on practical measures with which you can train conscious silence.
1. Immediately applicable techniques
1.1 The 3-second rule
- Before you speak: count 3 seconds internally.
- When exhaling decide: speak or stay silent?
1.2 Thought parking lot
- If you absolutely want to say something but shouldn’t:
Write down the thought immediately (notebook, phone, or short note). - Then continue listening without expressing the thought.
1.3 Body anchor
- Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth
- Close your lips lightly
- Fold your hands or hold a pen
- Press your feet consciously into the ground
Internally link this posture with:
“I think – without speaking.”
1.4 Listening with repetition rule
Before you speak yourself:
- Repeat in one sentence what the other person said.
Only then formulate your own content.
1.5 Visual stop signals
- Use stickers, symbols, or a bracelet that you consciously touch or turn.
- Link it with: “Pause.”
2. Exercises to build an inner stop signal
2.1 Daily mini-mindfulness (3–5 minutes)
- Set a timer.
- Focus your attention on your breath.
- Notice thoughts → “Thought” → back to the breath.
Goal: to extend the moment between impulse and action.
2.2 Delay challenges
In everyday situations, build in a short pause:
- Write a message → wait 30 seconds → only then send.
- Voice message → listen to it once before you send it.
- Post a comment → wait 1 minute → then decide.
2.3 Stop games
- Use simple reaction/stop exercises (Go/No-Go) that require you to sometimes react and sometimes stop.
3. A clear 3-week training plan
Week 1: Two basic techniques
- Select situations in which you often talk too much.
- Apply:
- 3-second rule
- Thought parking lot
Goal: In this situation, consciously not speak 3 times per day.
Week 2: Body anchor + neutral signal
- Consciously use the body anchor every day.
- Ask a trusted person for a discreet sign when you start talking too much.
Week 3: Mindfulness routine
- Every day 3–5 minutes of mindfulness exercise.
- Observe whether the short pause becomes easier.
